Developing a healthy relationship with your smartphone

Now more than ever, we have to be aware of the relationship we have to our smartphones, and the negative mental and physical health consequences of our devices. More and more evidence-based research continues to point to the addictive nature of our phones, and the correlation between mental health disorders such as anxiety, depression, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and other addictions.

Our phones, though necessary to live in modern times, have become a lifeline of sort for on-demand connection, whether that be through texting, dealing with work issues through easy phone/email access, and 24/7 news and social media updates.

Physically, excessive phone use has been linked to neck problems, vision issues, sleep issues, and hand issues. Brain wise, what we are doing or reading on our phone is influencing our emotions by activating our limbic system and dopamine-reward system.  We actually release feel good hormones, such as dopamine into our body if we are finding pleasure in what we are doing on our phone. Though this seems like a good thing, what happens with these reward systems of the brain like an addiction, is you continue to need more of the activity to produce a satisfying dopamine response. For example when you previously were content with checking your email on your phone for 20 minutes a day, eventually your brain will want 50 minutes a day, and so on. Another example, when you used to check social media 1x/day, and now you find yourself checking it 10x/ day. This is the dopamine-reward system at play.

Some red flags to check-in with yourself with your current relationship with your phone.

-Do you use your phone as a tool to “wind down” after a hard day?

-Is it hard for you not to check your email or social media even when there is no need?

-Do you have a habit of being on your phone before you go to bed?

-Do you feel anxious if you do not have your phone with you at all times?

-Do you anxiously check your phone while in a waiting room, at a stop light, or waiting in line for something?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, it is important that you begin to be aware and create healthy boundaries with your phone.

One of the first steps you can take to develop a healthier relationship with your phone is to go on a digital detox. This can look differently for individuals, from choosing to stop all social media, email, and other app use on your phone for at least two weeks. A less drastic detox would be to strictly limit your time on the phone, or only using it for “essential” tasks, such as needing to check a work email, or googling to find directions. Other electronic tasks, I encourage people to use their computer.

Whatever method you choose, the important work is being aware what is coming up for you mentally and physically not being on your phone. Many people report feeling “anxious” without having the ability to check their phone. Having a fear of missing out, or missing a text. Find ways to process your emotions through journaling, talking to your therapist, or a supportive friend.

Another question to ask ourselves with our relationship to our phone, is how does the device help you? We will often find we can differentiate the positive and negative ways we feel that the phone helps us. Positive in that it helps us stay connected to our family and friends, in case there would be an emergency. Another positive, our GPS on our phone helps us get to places in a city. In highlighting positives, we can also highlight negatives in that we see the “time wasted” on our phones, where we could have been more present in our daily lives. Another negative, we notice we feel “unsettled’ if we cannot check social media or our email. Looking deeper into the void that we are filing by being “unsettled” is really important and key for better boundaries.

Physically, after taking a digital detox, many people report feeling better. Usually their sleep has improved and less stiffness in their hands and neck.

During the two-week digital detox period or increased boundaries with your phone, work to bring a new hobby into your life. This is important in helping to create new brain pathways of pleasure. Some examples of new hobbies:

o   Painting

o   Reading a new book

o   Going for a walk

o   Writing letters to loved ones

o   Cooking

o   Journaling

o   Collaging

These new hobbies help fill in time gaps in your day that may have been occupied by your phone. Hopefully, even after your digital detox, they are activities you want to add into your day or week.

Lastly, remember to give yourself compassion as you develop a healthier relationship with you phone. New habits take time, and the most important step is increasing your awareness, and recovering after slip-ups with unhealthy phone dependency.